Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy
What are Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy?
Grief is the normal, healthy, and human process of learning how to live without someone or something that
we have lost. The term "grief counseling" relates to "normal" or "uncomplicated" grief. This form of grief
involves a wide variety of feelings and behaviors (Worden 2002). Feelings may include shock, numbness,
yearning, sadness, anger, self-reproach, guilt, anxiety, fatigue, loneliness, relief, and emancipation. Physical
sensations commonly experienced during grief include tightness in the throat and chest, feeling short of
breath, hollowness in the stomach, lack of energy, weakness in the muscles, dry mouth, oversensitivity to
noise, and a sense of depersonalization. Thoughts may include preoccupation, disbelief, confusion, a sense
of presence of the deceased, and hallucinations of hearing or seeing the deceased. During grief, people
commonly experience a disturbance of sleep and appetite, sigh, cry, behave in an absentminded manner,
withdraw socially, avoid reminders of their loss, dream of the deceased, call out (mentally of vocally) for their
loved one to return, may engage in restless or overactive behavior, visit places that remind them of the
deceased, and carry or treasure objects that belonged to the deceased.
Worden's (2002) concept of the tasks of mourning can be useful:
"Normal" or "uncomplicated" grief is certainly not a pathological or abnormal state. It is not a mental illness.
But it is also not an easy experience. Grief is painful. It is emotionally and physically depleting. The goals of
grief counseling are essentially to help the bereaved work through the tasks of mourning—finishing any
"unfinished business" and saying goodbye. Worden (2002) sees grief counseling as a valid supplement to
the traditional ways that societies have developed to help people mourn a loss. And, since contemporary
American society is not particularly supportive of grief, grief counseling can be a very useful source of support
during bereavement. Grief counseling provides a place and time to talk about the loss, identify and
experience feelings, figure out how to live without the deceased, find meaning in the loss, learn to love again,
and receive validation for the normalcy of grief reactions.
"Complicated," "unresolved," or "delayed" grief happens when people are unable to grieve fully or at all.
Something about their situation has been preventing the healthy but difficult process of grief. It's as if they
don't have permission to grieve. Sometimes too many losses have occurred during too short a period of time
and the grief is so overwhelming that it is delayed—a protective response that makes sense for an extremely
difficult situation. Sometimes inadequate social support exists for a bereaved person to grieve fully. Or a
person may have so many other demands on their time and energy that there is little left over for the hard
work of grieving. The goal of grief therapy is to help the bereaved begin, continue, and complete the tasks of
grieving.
How Effective are Grief Counseling and Therapy?
A review of support to the bereaved in the form of professional services as well as volunteer peer-group
support "suggests that professional services and professionally supported voluntary and self-help services
are capable of reducing the risk of psychiatric and psychosomatic disorder resulting from bereavement.
Services are most beneficial among bereaved people who perceive their families as unsupportive or who, for
other reasons, are thought to be at special risk" (Parkes 1980).
References
Parkes, C. Bereavement counseling: Does it work? British Medical Journal, 281, 3-6.
Worden, J. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for Mental Health Practitioners. New York:
Springer Publishing Co. 2002.
Grief is the normal, healthy, and human process of learning how to live without someone or something that
we have lost. The term "grief counseling" relates to "normal" or "uncomplicated" grief. This form of grief
involves a wide variety of feelings and behaviors (Worden 2002). Feelings may include shock, numbness,
yearning, sadness, anger, self-reproach, guilt, anxiety, fatigue, loneliness, relief, and emancipation. Physical
sensations commonly experienced during grief include tightness in the throat and chest, feeling short of
breath, hollowness in the stomach, lack of energy, weakness in the muscles, dry mouth, oversensitivity to
noise, and a sense of depersonalization. Thoughts may include preoccupation, disbelief, confusion, a sense
of presence of the deceased, and hallucinations of hearing or seeing the deceased. During grief, people
commonly experience a disturbance of sleep and appetite, sigh, cry, behave in an absentminded manner,
withdraw socially, avoid reminders of their loss, dream of the deceased, call out (mentally of vocally) for their
loved one to return, may engage in restless or overactive behavior, visit places that remind them of the
deceased, and carry or treasure objects that belonged to the deceased.
Worden's (2002) concept of the tasks of mourning can be useful:
- Accept the reality of the loss
- Work through the pain of grief
- Adjust to an environment in which the loved one is missing
- Learn to love again without feeling that doing so diminishes our love for the deceased
"Normal" or "uncomplicated" grief is certainly not a pathological or abnormal state. It is not a mental illness.
But it is also not an easy experience. Grief is painful. It is emotionally and physically depleting. The goals of
grief counseling are essentially to help the bereaved work through the tasks of mourning—finishing any
"unfinished business" and saying goodbye. Worden (2002) sees grief counseling as a valid supplement to
the traditional ways that societies have developed to help people mourn a loss. And, since contemporary
American society is not particularly supportive of grief, grief counseling can be a very useful source of support
during bereavement. Grief counseling provides a place and time to talk about the loss, identify and
experience feelings, figure out how to live without the deceased, find meaning in the loss, learn to love again,
and receive validation for the normalcy of grief reactions.
"Complicated," "unresolved," or "delayed" grief happens when people are unable to grieve fully or at all.
Something about their situation has been preventing the healthy but difficult process of grief. It's as if they
don't have permission to grieve. Sometimes too many losses have occurred during too short a period of time
and the grief is so overwhelming that it is delayed—a protective response that makes sense for an extremely
difficult situation. Sometimes inadequate social support exists for a bereaved person to grieve fully. Or a
person may have so many other demands on their time and energy that there is little left over for the hard
work of grieving. The goal of grief therapy is to help the bereaved begin, continue, and complete the tasks of
grieving.
How Effective are Grief Counseling and Therapy?
A review of support to the bereaved in the form of professional services as well as volunteer peer-group
support "suggests that professional services and professionally supported voluntary and self-help services
are capable of reducing the risk of psychiatric and psychosomatic disorder resulting from bereavement.
Services are most beneficial among bereaved people who perceive their families as unsupportive or who, for
other reasons, are thought to be at special risk" (Parkes 1980).
References
Parkes, C. Bereavement counseling: Does it work? British Medical Journal, 281, 3-6.
Worden, J. Grief Counseling and Grief Therapy: A Handbook for Mental Health Practitioners. New York:
Springer Publishing Co. 2002.
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| Copyright 2005 Cynthia Good Mojab All rights reserved |
LifeCircle Counseling and Consulting, LLC